The last session of the 50a50 reading club, which had the philosopher and writer Montse Barderi as a guest to comment on the book “Aristotelian Love Manual for 21st Century Women“, was a master class in dignity, an accelerated course in empowerment for women.
The author, who has published both novels and essays on popular philosophy, confessed that she rejects the double victimization that women suffer when they fall in love and, with this action, they develop a relationship of dependency. “All the books about love have been written from the field of psychology and pose a double suffering for women, first for love and then because it is argued that if you suffer for love, something happens to you … it is an approach that it made me feel guilty”, she reasoned.
Therefore, Montse Barderi raised in “Aristotelian love manual for women of the XXI century” the theme of love from the point of view of ethics: “You already do it well because women have an honest and comprehensive relationship, it is the other who does it wrong, because it takes advantage of the vulnerability that love makes to hurt you”. In this sense, the philosopher defined estimation as the meeting of two noble people who do good to each other.
Specialist in gender studies, the writer warns about low-voltage abuse: “All abuse begins with this low-voltage abuse, it does not start directly with a beating. The desire for control, emotional blackmail, lack of respect… they are dangerous because if you give in they become a blank check. They should not be confused with micro-sexisms, and they not only occur in the private sphere, but they can also occur in the workplace. It is an evil that cannot be fought with the good because precisely it feeds on the good in order to grow”.
Montse Barderi is a strong defender of the need for love to be able to live and she considers it a life project. However, in the words of the author, “really wanting means offering the other person your vulnerability, because it can break your heart. This is a toxic society is seen as a weakness”.
You can view an excerpt from the 50a50 book club session with Montse Barderi here.